


Shower

by JoAsakura



Series: The Major, The Commander, and the Very Helpful Crew of the Normandy [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAsakura/pseuds/JoAsakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sometimes, being a little bit brave deserves a reward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Diana Allers' spots on _Battlespace_ are some of the most-watched on ANN, due in no small part to her "highlight" reels of the Normandy crew's battles with Cerberus and the Reapers. Computer-generated battlesim vidlets, shored up with any non-classified data mined from the squad's armour telemetry by EDI, allows the reporter to show thrilling segments of the war to distant worlds, in neat, attention-deficit packets. The vidlets show inspirational nibbles of the brave men and women of the Normandy fighting for the galaxy.

What the vidlets **don't** show is a painful, twelve hour uphill slog through a reaper-infested and radioactively-contaminated fuel station. They don't show three exhausted soldiers trying to pick bits of cannibal out of their armour joints or the fact that Lieutenant Cortez has to seal the crew compartment of the shuttle because currently, the squad collectively has a half-life comparable to uranium.

~~

"Lieutenant Vega's prepped the shuttle bay for decon procedures." Cortez's voice crackles over the intercom. "You guys are *really* hot."

"Well, of course." Garrus jokes, scowling at the disturbing piece of wet, blobby flesh he's holding at arms length. "and I think we all know who the hottest is."

Kaidan and Garrus share an exhausted snicker, then the turian cocks his head. "Shepard?"

The commander is standing there, holding on to a handgrip, and not moving. In fact, he hasn't moved since the doors shut.

"Holy shit, I think Shepard's dead." Garrus exclaims before Kaidan can shush him.

"He's sleeping." The major says with a fond little smile, watching the commander's faintly swaying form as the shuttle rockets back to the Normandy. "Used to do this all the time on the way back from missions. Maglock his boots to the floor, then lock his armour so he stays upright while he takes a nap."

"*That's* why it seems like he never sleeps." Garrus yawns hugely, the sound made strange by his helmet. "I thought it might be one of those... Shepard things." The vague gesture he makes encompasses everything Inexplicably Shepard.

They both laugh and leave the commander where he is until the shuttle docks.

~~~

They wait till Cortez can exit the shuttle and suit up before opening the compartment and Kaidan gently knocks on Shepard's helmet. "Hey, Lucy, we're home." He whispers and grins a little as Shepard blinks awake. "You really need to get a real night's sleep you know." he adds. A quick glance at the suit chrono says a chunk of the crew is probably snoring away without them.

"I know." the commander sighs as the door slides open. "We've been running hard against cerberus for days, then this. It's just..."

Out in the bay, James yells something that sounds suspiciously like "INCOMING", and everything is blanketed in the creepy salmon-pink of the decon foam. They stand there, like a trio of ridiculously-hued snowmen as Cortez shakes his head, grinning under his own helmet.

"One side, gentlemen. I have to decontaminate my baby that you got radiation and reaper goo all over." The pilot pauses, shouldering the decon hose long enough to draw a smiley face in the foam covering Shepard's helmet and the lot of them break into another round of faintly hysterical giggles.

"Ok. I am definitely going to bed after I get out of this suit." Garrus mutters. "There is no way that should've been *that* funny."

"Agreed." Shepard adds, forwarding his mission report to Traynor's comm with the express notice that unless Hackett calls with a priority or they're under direct fire from reapers, that he's not to be bothered for at least an hour.

~~

When the decon foam's finally dissolved and vented from the bay and the radiation levels are back to normal, Kaidan pulls off his helmet with a sigh of relief.

And immediately wants to put it back on.

A quick look around proves that the look of horror on his face is shared by everyone in the bay. The smell is terrible and familiar, made infinitely worse by covering every nearby surface. But at least Kaidan knows that it's *definitely* not him this time.

(After all, he gave the rest of the cologne to Garrus.)

"What is that *smell*??" Cortez retches. "It's like someone soaked a batarian whorehouse with gasoline!"

Kaidan starts itching as soon as he thinks about it, and Garrus makes a strangled sound that turns into a weird laugh halfway through.

"EDI. Mind telling me what's going on with the rad foam?" To his credit, Shepard doesn't retch, or even flinch. He's almost unnervingly calm. But Kaidan can see his normally pale skin is going a faintly greenish hue.

"Joker and I thought it would be amusing." EDI answers blithely. "By your reactions, I can assume it is not as funny as we thought it would be."

"Ok. So. Now I need a *shower* before bed." Garrus groans, wiping the last bit of pink foam from his armour. "ugh."

"I think that is a *great* idea." Shepard nods, catching Kaidan's eye with a little side glance. "Major?"

Kaidan blinks at him for a moment before Shepard's insistent stare and less-than subtle throat-clearing breaks through his tired brain.

"Oh. *Oh*. Yeah. *Definitely* a shower." Kaidan replies with what he hopes is a perfectly straight face.

"ugh. I think I'm going to be nauseous." Garrus says with a grin in his voice, and Kaidan can tell that he's not talking about the smell.

~~


	2. Chapter 2

It had been nearly a week before, that Kaidan had professed his intentions to his closest friend and esrtwhile commanding officer.

Promptly thereafter, the Normandy and her crew had found themselves racing against renewed efforts Cerberus and the reapers. The fuel station was only the most recent in a seemingly never ending supply of Important War Things To Do. Sleep was a precious commodity and any time for intimacy had been even rarer than that.

Kaidan had found himself stealing kisses against Shepard's stubbled cheek in the lift, his hand resting in the small of Shepard's back as the squad reviewed missions in the war room. Shepard's fingers always seemed to find themselves dusting across the fine hairs on Kaidan's arm as they grabbed rushed meals in the brief rests between star systems.

As it stood at this moment, they were desperate for each other. With Shepard practically climbing Kaidan like a singularly horny spider monkey as soon as the lift doors whispered shut, the Major found himself wondering why either one of them had bothered re-dressing after shucking their armour minutes before.

~~

Somehow, they made it back to Shepard's cabin without leaving a trail of clothing behind them. But Kaidan was acutely aware that the stench of the rad decon foam still clung to their skin and hair like a pungent, unwanted guest, even if Shepard clearly seemed to have no functional sense of smell at all.

He found himself awkwardly perched on the hard edge of Shepard's desk, the commander straddling him, one knee on the tabletop, balancing precariously against Kaidan on the toes of his other foot, clawing at the other man's shirt as they kissed.

"Sh..Shep.. Shepard." Kaidan pushed him back far enough so they could catch their breath. "Shower, remember?"

Shepard deflated against him, resting his head on Kaidan's shoulder for a long moment. "right. shower." he mumbled.

"You're.. disappointed about getting naked and wet with me?" Kaidan prodded him gently as Shepard peeled out of his uniform. It was strange, watching him. In the tight quarters aboard ship, they had been casually naked with each other countless times.

This felt so different. As if he were seeing Shepard's body for the first time. (Maybe I am.) Kaidan thought as he undid his own clothes. (That rebuilt body Cerberus made)

Shepard toed off his boots and kicked away the rest of his clothes, stepping backwards into the cold little bathroom with a challenge in his eyes. "Well, Kaidan?"

"Seriously, Shep." The water was almost uncomfortably hot as it sputtered out. "What's the matter?" Kaidan brushed a hand over the water beading on Shepard's stubble.

"I keep thinking, this is all we get." He leaned into Kaidan's touch, then lifted his face to the water. Skin flushed, the faint white traces of his scars showed just under the surface. "That any second, we're going to get pulled back into the war and one of us is.." Shepard took a deep breath then turned away, dropping his head and letting the water pelt his back. He glanced over his shoulder, eyes bright.

"Our lives are violent and probably short." He said with a weary laugh. "I.. I just don't want to waste any of the seconds we have left."

Kaidan let his hands slide down Shepard's back, tracing the roadmap of scars there. Then, very gently, he coaxed him to turn around. "At the risk of sounding... really sentimental, Shep? All of my seconds, all of them. Are yours. They always have been. I should have come with you back on Horizon, and I wish I could take back all that time."

Shepard's hands found his, and their fingers twined as Kaidan let his forehead rest against the commander's. "But I can't. But... everything I have now. Is yours. Until one of us doesn't get up again for the fight."

"...noted." Shepard murmured against him. "and.. I love you too, Major Alenko."

~~

EDI's platform sat in the copilot's station on the bridge, monitoring the ship while the majority of the crew slept. She glanced over at Joker, who'd drifted off in his chair, snoring lightly, and felt the warm glow of positive feedback in her processors.

Surely, she thought as she glanced in on Shepard, tangled with the Major and in need of another shower, that the Alliance would understand there were certain spots in space with terrible interference and they just didn't have reliable comm.

(You didn't fall in love without being a little bit brave) She pondered. (and sometimes, that deserved a reward.)


End file.
